Sometimes I wish I could lose my mind. like..completely. then I'd have justification for all my negligence, lost thoughts, indecisiveness, etc.
My bed is made but my mind is cluttered. My closet is organized but my fridge is empty. My sociallizing is prolific but my "me" time is non-existant. Coffee is good...but it gives me jitters. Sleep is refreshing but I find it boring. I crave structure but don't you think it's stifling?
Well rounded, dyanic, multi-faceted, confusing, undecided, non-commital...oh which one is it?
Can I just run away for a little bit? Throw responsibilty and self-understanding to the wind.... return with no questions asked...
don't be confused by me, I'm already confused enough.
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Carrie...wow, this is powerful in its simplicity - you are not alone. Our world encourages us to create dichotomous minds and fit things neatly into those categories. Rarely does life ever operate that way, and I am the first to admit, I really strive to make sense of things with the categories...the chaos sometimes seems easier to manage with it, but it is a false sense of control. One of the most beautiful things about the church we went to in Toronto for Year Team was that it was the most chaotic experience in a faith-based setting I have ever experienced as the Holy Spirit was completely unleashed, and yet, it was also one of the times I have felt most at peace with the Lord and sensed His presence most. There was freedom in the chaos. May we find rest and freedom as we see this world through the Lord's lens.
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