Tis the season...

...to wait.

Why is waiting so hard? I read today in Exodus 16 about the Israelites who had to wait in the wilderness for 40 years before God brought them into the land that he promised. In the waiting they started to grumble. And in the midst of the grumbling, they found themselves wishing they were back in Egypt...back in slavery! They said, "Would that we had died by the Lord's hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." (Ex 16:3)

Initially I want to be like, "Really? Really Israel? You would rather be "fat and happy," and an enslaved people than be a little hungry and totally set free by the Lord? Sure, the wilderness probably isn't like living it up at the Ritz, but isn't it better than working 80 hours a week carting bricks back and forth for Pharoah? I mean, dont the trees in the wildnerness provide a little bit of shade?" But then I read between the lines and see myself smack in the middle of that story. Flat in the middle of a wilderness of sorts, where the only thing that feels abundant are unmet expectations and the growlings of an empty belly. And oh does this tummy like to growl.

Mind you, perhaps my appetite, like theirs, still hungers after the things I've tasted in Egypt and needs time to hunger for Manna (the original "frosted flakes" as I heard preached this past Sunday), but how is it that I, that they, that we would so quickly forsake freedom and the One who has set us free to lament the loss of our slavery? What is that quote by CS Lewis that talks about our desires being too weak? That we are far too easily pleased and that we find ourselves content to make mudpies when a holiday at the sea is offered to us. Why do I confuse the mud with the sea? I'm sure I'd like the feeling, the reality, of water swishing in between my toes much better than the nasty, old mud. bleh.

So here's what this tum's growling these days: "Lord, what about a house to live in that's awesome? What about my million dollar mate? What about a job that I could love? What about freedom from this thorn and that? Would that I had these things..." Would that I had these things I doubt that I would feel full and yet I struggle greatly to not believe the opposite. As much as I feel convinced sometimes that all these things would make me much happier, I imagine that the Lord sees fit for me to develop more a taste for Manna, for what is better, for what is true freedom.

So I guess to Israel I say, "I hear ya peeps," but to the Lord I say, "Thank you for bearing with us so long and please help me to be willing. I know these things wont give me what I'm looking for, but its easy to forget, especially when this stomach starts growling so. Help me long for what is better."

Amen.

love ya'll.